There are no coincidences. I love going through Pinterest and I found this graphic on there the moment that I brought it up on my phone. I had just made a decision about what I'm going to do after the spirit conflict about my ancestral altar for Samhain. This blog post is about that decision.
I'm going to put one up anyway, to spite their protests. Why are they protesting? Because they think that they are going to get trapped by or in it! A little divination told me that they think this because another spirit that I am close to has spread rumors among the other spirits here that I am trying to trap them because of my Wiccan beliefs. This is the furthest thing from the truth that there ever could be! That spirit did get trapped, yes, but it was not through any ancestral altar or any dumb supper or any other ritual that I had done to honor the Dead.
He was attacking me fiercely. Another witch that I was working with set a trap for him every time he had tried to attack me. So yes, he did get trapped because of his behavior. I have begged him for years to stop attacking me because I loved him and would not attack him. He never stopped. Yes, he was warned. He still did not stop. Now he is spreading rumors among the spirits that if I do the altar to honor my ancestors on Samhain or if I do the dumb supper or any of the other activities to honor the Dead then they will also be trapped by those activities.
Mother Hecate has given me a hard task this year, and I always relish in hard tasks, especially those that she gives to me and are spiritual. I will gladly do her task. The task that she gave me was to change the spirit's minds about my beliefs and what they had chosen to believe about those. This lead me right back to the attacks that I was experiencing from them and from this one spirit that I have been talking about.
Who was the spirit that was attacking me? Of all people, it was my brother! I love my brother. In life he was like a second father to me although he died when I was only three and a half years old. I remember him plainly. I'm miss him daily. I grieve for him daily.
Throughout my life I used to go to his grave and just sit there and stare at it, missing him that much. His death was a very hard tragedy for my family. A lot of bad things stemmed from it. Not only did the world lose a good person at a very young age, he was only 27 years old when he died, there was effects on my family that nobody could have imagined because of his death. After he died, life for the whole family felt like tragedy after tragedy. And sometimes that was exactly what happened. This is why his attacks on me from his spirit being around harmed me so badly. They had to stop!
Why was he attacking me? I tried to find this out for at least 20 years. I know that it was longer but I don't know the exact number of years, probably leaning toward 30 years. It is only now that I'm getting some real answers to the question I sought for that long to have answered. Only now do I have any definition for what I have been going through in the spiritual realm with him. That also grieves me that it took this long to get a straight answer about it. I deserved better!
I guess I should have seen it then but I was too young to put it together because I was naive about certain hatreds and the amount of them that could exist within a single person or people group. I found out after he died that in life he had been known for extreme prejudices. That's something that I would never have guessed about him. And in death, why would it be any different? However, that was not my thinking at the time about the dead and their spirits and abilities.
I thought that spirit could see everything and I thought that they were enlightened beyond that of normal living human beings. I thought that they knew better than the average living person. I thought that because I thought they could see more and into the future as well. I found out the hard way that not all spirits can do any of this. Some of them can but not all of them. And when I say the hard way I mean the very hard way, and part of this was through the spiritual attacks on me by my brother.
Why was he attacking me? It was because of my newfound spiritual beliefs, which came in the form of practicing Wicca. Yes, he could see me doing that, but what I didn't know that he was not willing to look any further than just seeing me doing it and knowing that I was doing it. I was honoring him and communicating with him on a daily basis through practicing it. I thought he could see that I was working in light and not harming anyone or anything. I thought he could see that the energy that I put out were pure love. Especially toward him. Undoubtly he could not or would not see this and I'm just now finding this out.
He took his own prejudices and very indoctrinated beliefs into the Afterlife with him and ran with them. He still has these beliefs because he kept them since he died in 1979. Even after all I have been through with his spirit and all he had seen of me he still kept them and ran with them. He is still acting upon them to this day. The attacks continue.
Now he is spreading rumors in the spiritual realm to the others that are around me and that I love. These rumors are false but he continues to spread them. This is why Mother Hecate has given me the specific task this Samhain season. The situation and these attacks must end! These rumors will stop.
He has now got the other spirits believing things about me that they did not believe before. How do I know this? Because I'm very claraudiant and I can physically hear their words about it coming to me at times. I am also very clairsentient, which means I have very strong feelings about what's going on in the spiritual realm. Not only can I hear it I can feel it strongly. This is why the spiritual attacks on me has affected me so profoundly over the years.
Even with all of the protections that I had put up against such as this, my love for my brother and my wanting to hear from him overroad the protections. I had to get outside help from who was my teacher then. I wanted to understand it and the why's of it and put a stop to it.
Since no amount of begging him to stop worked she set traps for him every time he would attack me. They seem to have worked or maybe he just knew about them and is using that knowledge against me right now because that is what I'm hearing from the spiritual world. Now the spirits around me, all of them, believe him and think they will be trapped by my honoring them this year or whenever I honor them with my rituals or altar.
None of these spirits that are around me had any experience in their lifetimes with Wicca. They mostly did not even know what it is. As usual I expected them to see my actions and intents and discern for themselves that the energy that I'm putting out is pure love, but undoubtedly the rumors that my brother is spreading sunk in more than my own actions and energy did. I don't understand why except that they knew him longer than they knew me in their lifetimes and that knowledge of him has overrode anything that I have attempted to do or to show them or say to them.
With the ones still living in my family, especially my first cousins. I have actually been told that I am not my brother and that they reject me for it. It's almost like he had a cult following. I'm still trying to figure this one out. It seems to be true in the spirit world as well.
At least now I have an answer or the beginning of an answer to why I have been attacked this long. It is now gotten to the point where I cannot even work on my Book of Shadows without having my mind bombarded by the spirits to the point where I can't concentrate on my work. They are urging me to go back to my childhood Church and to get away from this path that I am on now and have been on for the almost 30 years that I have been speaking about.
There have been many accusations coming through as well. None of these accusations have one bit of truth to them. Because of their own prejudices, ignorance, and listening to my brother, they are also putting out immense negative energy to me and toward me which is also a spiritual attack.
I would hate to block all of my loved ones, but even when I talk to my cousin who is not a magical person and does not know much about it, even she is telling me that I may just have to block them. I hate to say it but she is right. I don't want to block them because I love them and because I can communicate with spirits so very well. I'm also a paranormal researcher and have been as long as I have been practicing Wicca. The two paths for me just seemed to coincide. I firmly believe that I am where I need to be and doing what I need to be doing. For most of my life I have expected the spirits to be able to see this.
Where are my spirit guides in all of this? Well they are here, however, because of these other spirits of my loved ones they are very hard to hear but I do hear them. I have to work at it to hear them. The same goes for deity. I have to work at hearing deity and any other spirit guides that are around me and that I work with. But thank Goddess I can hear them and they can get through to me!
My decision is simply this. I'm going to do all of my honoring the dead rituals and give my help that I have been ordained to give despite their protesting and what they're accusing me of. And I will do it with pride. It is their loss if they do not want to take the love that I am going to send out to them. Maybe that's why some of them are still stuck here and in the situation that they are stuck in. I do believe that some of them are actually stuck. I will try to help them but that is going to take time and more than just the rituals and activities that I will be doing this coming sabbot on Samhain.
As for my other ancestors of the McClain/McLean lineage, they have actually apologized to me. Sir Lachlan, of the time period of Ewen and Hector McLean visited me himself and invited me to the castle any time I wished to astral project there or otherwise. I have a sincere apology from him about how the other spirits treated me and my religion. I have befriended all of them. They will happily take part in my Samhain and other Rituals to honor them. For these spirits, all I had to do was explain it.
As for the other spirits, well I just had to divine with pendulum if that was a banshee that I heard wailing in the background as I was writing this. No it was not a banshee. It was the spirits wailing about what I'm writing about my brother. Unfortunately it seems that they hate the truth! Too bad! I particularly love the truth and tell it often! They have quieted down now. They might as well and save their energies because I'm publishing this post. I've not harmed them. I've only told the truth!
Merry Meet, Merry Part and Merry Meet again!
Blessed Be!
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